In my experience, Arthur Lee Oxendale maintained multiple overlapping “relationships” while presenting ours as exclusive. I believe there was a repeated pattern in which he received money, transportation, housing, or other resources through these relationships, and I have documentation that appears to support that belief.

What it looks like to me is that he moves from woman to woman and relies on those relationships for financial and material support—including help with living expenses, transportation, money, and partying. That is how the pattern appears to me based on what I personally experienced and the information I have documented.

During our nearly three-year relationship, I experienced what I believe were multiple forms of abuse, along with substantial financial and property loss. I allowed him to use my car after he explicitly promised to return it in better condition. Instead, it was returned barely drivable and now needs tires, rear brakes, shocks, radiator repairs, and diagnosis of an oil leak—none of which, to my knowledge, were present when I entrusted the car to him. There is exterior and interior damage that I believe occurred while it was in his possession as well.

I am preserving the available evidence and intend to pursue repayment and accountability through appropriate legal channels. This statement reflects my personal experience, beliefs, and interpretation of the documented pattern; it is not a court finding. It may be updated as additional evidence is organized or circumstances change.

People ask that question about victims all the time. Looking back, I think the better question is: what was happening that made accepting the truth — and trusting my own perception of it — so difficult?

I didn't simply believe everything until one day I discovered the truth. I noticed things. I questioned things. Sometimes I knew. Then I doubted what I knew, defended him, hoped I was wrong, forgave, tried again, and found myself confronting the same truths later.

The writings below matter because many weren't written with hindsight. They show what I actually thought and felt while I was inside the relationship.

This is my personal account and archive. Posts labeled “Original writing” are reproduced from my surviving Facebook export. My recollections and interpretations are identified as such. Allegations are not presented as court findings unless independently documented.

We created another Facebook account intending it to be something we shared as a couple. That never became what I expected it to be. Eventually I took the account and began using it to write about what was happening in the relationship.

There is an irony in that I can't miss now: a space I thought would represent us became one of the places where I documented what “us” actually felt like from inside it.